The most defining year of my life & #sunflowersforjacqueline

I originally started writing this just after Christmas. I was sat on my bed on a rainy Sunday, catching up with the world after a blissful few days. I'd been in my own little bubble of a new relationship nestled in the limbo of Christmas and New Year. The rare few days where you have more time and less worries than usual. In this bubble I'd hardly reached for my phone, I'd enjoyed my absence from the online world, embraced not checking at least one social platform every 30 minutes or so. Enjoyed dancing like no one was watching, smiled until my face hurt and smiled some more. Stopped worrying about likes or planning what images to upload next on Instagram. Actually living, you know in the real world. So I've spent the past 10 years of my life with the Internet being such a big part of it. It is for most of us, and always will be, but it's about balance like everything I guess.

In the crazy whirlwind of a 2015, I'd come to the end of it feeling content and calm. The year really shaped me as a person far more than I could ever convey, far more than any year before. I'd grown in confidence, self belief and found myself a little more, especially in the last 2 months, as cliche as that really does sound. So I guess let's start at the beginning..

January
Florence with Tia Maria Firenze4Ever
1st Schwarzkopf Campaign, Pink to Purple hair, TV advert

February
Shot another Baia Collection
London Fashion Week
100K on YouTube

March
Harry Potter Studio tour Hogwarts express VIP launch
Dubai with Boohoo, TV advert

April
New hair, half pink, half purple
La with Yanin
Met HeyClaire and Jenn Im
Nasty Gal HQ
Boohoo TV advert airs
Paris with Olympus
Schwarzkopf TV advert airs

May
1st collab with Topshop, prom lookbook
Started working with Liz Earle
Workshop with Olympus and Topshop
Beautycon
Radio 1 Big weekend
Changed hair to lavander

June
Disneyland for the launch of DisneyXVans
Isle of Wight Festival
Ibiza with Boohoo

July
Lovebox
Back to Blonde
2nd Schwarzkopf Campaign, blonde to turquoise, TV advert

August
Ibiza with Malibu
My 26th Birthday
Leeds Festival

September
Sundown Festival
Worked with H&M
Bestival
Lost Jacqueline
Copenhagen with Jane Koenig
Started planning #sunflowersforjacqueline

October
Said goodbye to Jacqueline
Money from Depop for charity
Disneyland with Blogger Programme
Back to pink hair
Newlook online advert
Made my own Maleficent costume for gleam halloween party

November
Chopped off 6.5 inchs of hair
Schwarzkopf TV advert airs
Caught up with friends, started feeling more me again
Came back to YouTube

December
Received designs for #sunflowersforjacqueline
Fell for my best friend Paul

Those were notes of my year, watch it in video form below. 2015 was the year of travel, finding true friendships and learning I'm stronger than I think.

As explained in the video, I waited to share it as I was going to launch #SunflowersForJacqueline at the end of it, but I decided to make a separate one for the launch on Friday last minute. This video is more of a little diary for myself to look back on and share a piece of me with you at the same time.

I want to thank you all for being so patient and understanding with me over the months that have gone by. I can't fully convey the rollercoaster of a year 2015 was, but I feel the video gives a better sense than anything I could write. I hope you do watch and please stay tuned on my social channels for Friday's launch of #SunflowersForJacqueline <3

See 2014 & 2013 posts.

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Morning raving with Clinique #ImIn

Yesterday I was up bright and early for a surprise challenge with Clinique! I had no idea what was in store for me other than it was a fitness event. Chloe and I were filmed on route to the destination at 5:30am when it was still pitch black and given a bunch of clues along with an envelope revealing we'd be "hitting the dance floor before breakfast". We looked at each other in disbelief whilst laughing, who on earth goes dancing at this time in the morning!? We applied Clinique's Pep Start eye cream to wake us up and get us ready for what was in store. Once filming bits and bobs was completed we arrived to the Day Breaker event at 7am, getting in line with a bunch of strangers all dressed in fitness gear, looking very excited for what was about to happen.

Day Breaker!

500 Londoners gathered in a warehouse down Shoreditch, dancing to deep-house before breakfast! I've heard of this online, something I was very intrigued about, but never really thought I'd actually get to experience it for myself! To be honest I only really dance in the evenings, maybe after a few drinks... And this was going to be me dancing sober. I was slightly worried I would be too self conscious to get into it, but the atmosphere was just electric! Everyone was dancing like no one was watching and before I knew it I was too.

So much happened, it really wasn't just your normal sort of thing you'd expect on a night out. There were dance offs, cheer leaders, an aerial fire breathing dancer performing on a disco ball suspended from the ceiling whilst the Symphonica Orchestra & DMC Champion Mr Switch played on staged. Just before 9am the ceiling blinds were pulled back to reveal blue skies, we all looked up dancing with our hands in the air. Smiles all around, it was quite surreal experiencing all this at this time in the morning. Towards the end we all got involved in a massive group hug where we all then started jumping to the music. The night ended with us sat on the floor listening to a live acoustic performer, brining the mood to a more chilled and relaxed vibe.


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Chloe and I after the event.
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Clinique Pep-Start Eye Cream helped us through this crazily early start, it's cream-gel formula leaves your skin feeling instantly cool and hydrated feeling and freshers tired looking eyes. The applicator de-puffs the skin and promotes microcircultaton for a brighter eye look. Application is so quick and easy with no mirror required, just pop open, squeeze out a pea size amount, pop it closed and sweep under the eyes and on the lids leaving skin smoothed and ready for makeup. Their blend of 7 peptides help maintain collagen that can be threatened by stress, tiredness, lack of sleep which are tell tail signs of a busy life.



A massive thank you to Clinique for inviting me to get out of my comfort zone and experience something I'd never of imagined doing before! When you're ready for anything great things really do happen!

Are you in? Tag your Instagram and Twitter pictures with #ImIn for your chance to win a fantastic experience. Choose from a make up session, husky dog sledding, or a hot air balloon ride! http://www.clinique.co.uk/pep-start-eye

This is sponsored by Clinique, but all opinions are 100% my own.
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Breast Augmentation - From surgery to 5 months on

You might or might not know that on the 26th July 2015 I underwent a breast augmentation at Transform, read my thoughts to why here if you're interested, or watch the video here.

It has taken me a while to do the update for several reasons. I lost my vlog camera whilst at Leeds festival just before my 6 weeks point. I'd been filming most days showing my progress, thoughts and feelings and now it was all lost. Highly annoyed at myself, but then feeling totally devastated when I then lost my best friend Jacqueline a couple of weeks later who I had taken with me to Leeds. All my memories from the last time I saw her were now lost. So for awhile I have been quite distant, watch my personal update video talking about life between July - November 2015 here if interested.

It's now been over 5 months since the op and they have changed so much over this time! As time goes on I'm becoming happier and happier with them. So let's catch up from the point I last left you guys.

Pre-op
On the 14th July 2015 I went back to Transform, taking Jacqueline with me to help me choose my size and to also have my pre-op. The pre-op happened first with a nurse where I had my height, weight and before pictures taken along with a blood test. I was talked through everything, had any questions I had answered and given notes to take home to read and refresh my memory.
- No vitamins or anti inflammatory drugs taken 2 weeks before surgery.
- No drinking alcohol or eating garlic 48 hours before.
- No makeup, jewellery, hair extensions or nail varnish.
- 6 hours prior no food or drink except water.
- 2 hours prior no more water.
- Pack a dressing gown and bring a sports bra to wear.

Then with Jacqueline and my point of contact I tried on sizers, before I'd just had implants placed into a sports bra to give an idea. This time they were more of a teardrop shape and emulated the sort of ski slope of an actual breast. Wearing a tight top on top, we decided 375CC suited me the most. This is actually the size I preferred in my first consultation with the surgeon but I was worried it would be too big so having a second opinion really helped. Next I saw Mr Meleagros to just confirm everything as I wasn't fully sure on the implants profile. Basically I was spending a lot of time reading up on things on forums and it was making me quite confused. Originally he said ultra high would work best for me but I was worried they'd look so fake. I expressed my concerns and he said for what I was working with they'd be the best option, if I went high profile or any others, with the projection being less, they'd look more rounded and then more fake. So all my concerns were address and I'd chosen! 375CC Natrelle TSX Ultra high profile over the muscle. Cost would be £4589 including the £189 warranty.

Surgery
On the 26th July 2015 I underwent my breast augmentation. In my bag I packed a dressing gown, phone charger, portable battery incase my cable couldn't reach from the plug to my bed (which it didn't so that was an amazing idea), pjs, tooth brush, tooth paste, face wash, pants and my macom bra.

As I lived far from the Riverside hospital which resides in London, I would be staying over one night. I went alone in a taxi and would be one of the first to be seen that day. Before going to my room I saw my anaesthetist who talked me through what he was going to do and warned about possible things like a sore throat or chipped teeth from the tube being inserted down my throat for breathing during the operation. I had heard of this from watching other girls' experiences on YouTube. Most seemed to have a sore throat after the op from the tube.

My room was ready, I chose my food for the rest of the day, changed into my paper gown, paper pants, DVT socks and dressing gown. Mr Meleagros came into see me, made markings on my chest and reassured me everything was okay. Next two nurses came in, took my blood pressure, gave me a hair net to wear. I put on my slippers and was led towards the operating theatre. I honestly cannot express how lovely they were, they distracted me by talking about YouTube as they watched a few people like Louise from Sprinkle of Glitter :) we chatted for awhile in a side room until everyone was ready. Then I was led into the operating room, laid on the table where the nurse held my hand. I was getting very nervous by this point, but they were all so lovely I started to relax a bit.

The anaesthetist was incredibly good at making me feel at ease, I was even laughing on the operating table! I told him my left arm wasn't the best for getting a vain, he responded that if anyone ever had any troubles with me they should come to him, within no time he'd got one and was telling me how beautiful it looked and I couldn't stop laughing. He asked how I was with needles, to which I cringed. He spotted I had tattoos and said, okay, what little tattoo would you like today? Perhaps a little star? I never even felt it go into my hand. I'd worked myself up a little over this part as I'd heard some girls say the anaesthetic was cold or even painful. All I felt was a sort of wave move from my legs up past my chest towards my head and before I even could count to two I was out.

Waking up
After surgery you are put into a sort of waiting area ward, I remember being woken up by a nurse and offered some water to drink. As I spoke to say thank you I found myself speaking in slow motion. Very surreal and amusing, I spoke again saying how slow I felt and how I knew I was speaking so slowly. I got to look down at my new additions and the first thing I said was, yey they aren't too big! My nipples looked hilarious, standing up like rockets! They had stretched in size a little but if anything they just looked in proportion with the boobs. I saw there were some bandages on the underneath of the boobs covering the incisions. The next thing I asked was if I snored! They laughed and said you cannot snore. I remembered there was a tube and realised I had no pain or discomfort in my throat what so ever. My chest felt tight but no pain. I was wheeled back to my room and within 30 mins after surgery I took this picture.
I was straight on my phone messaging my parents and friends telling them how it all had gone so smoothly. I could speak normally again, I was eating, drinking, vlogging and was completely fine. No loss of appetite, no pain. Just amazed at my new boobs, they were rock solid, very swollen and high up, but I was thrilled.
 A nurse came in and helped me get into my pjs and my macom bra. I still had my drains in and would do until the next morning. As you can see from the pictures they were very high with a lot of upper pole fullness. I was checked very frequently by nurses, my temperature, bloody pressure, heart rate and given pain killers when needed. As the day went on the frequency reduced. Mr Meleagros came in and checked everything was okay also. The day whizzed by and soon it was time for bed. I hardly slept to be honest. Being sat upright all day and then sleeping in the same position on my back was quite uncomfortable! I'm very much a side sleeper so this wasn't pleasant.

The next day
I was seen by a nurse, had my drains removed which really wasn't bad at all. I got myself so worked up on this too from people's YouTube videos, some said it was the worst part. My boobs were numb so I felt no pain, it just felt weird. I was told how to take my painkillers, anti-biotics, how to take shallow baths and wash my top half with a cloth, not getting the incisions wet. The stitches were discoverable so I wouldn't need them removed. She was so helpful and just reassured me and gave me all the information I needed and notes to refresh my memory when I was home. I got my taxi home and spent the day on the sofa with my parents fussing over me.

The following week
Anaesthetic slows down your body after surgery. The codeine in my painkillers can, erm, bung you up. It had been 3 days without a bowl movement, my stomach stuck out more than my boobs. I literally looked 6 months pregnant! I was miserable, not from my boobs, but my bloody stupid swollen stomach and still getting used to sleeping on my back :( I was drinking all the water, eating all the fruit, dried fruit, you name it. I came off the codeine painkillers on the Wednesday and moved to only paracetamol when needed.

Luckily things got better :) on the Saturday I tried on a non wired bra to see how my boobs looked in clothes. It felt so surreal as my boobs were still very numb, I felt very dizzy and slightly faint. My skin was so swollen it looked as if I'd oiled my chest!
I think having a break from my macom bra and wearing a non wired one for a little while helped reduce some swelling as by the Sunday it had started going down. Simple things like washing my hair and putting on some makeup helped pick me up from my week of a painful stomach.

1st check up
This was around 8 days after my operation, the nurse removed the bandages and strips covering the incisions and said they'd started healing really well already. I expressed my concerns, due to the swelling, in between my boobs the skin wasn't flush against my chest wall and I was worried I was getting what some call a mono boob! She reassured me that it was only the swelling and I should push my finger down between them to help drain the fluid. We noticed my left boob was also dropping a little quicker, it's very normal for this to happen.

I was asked by Malibu if I'd like to go to Ibiza with them so I checked with the nurse if it was okay to fly. The trip was 16 days post op and you're okay to fly short haul 14 days after so it was fine (12 weeks post op for long haul flights). She just said I had to get a bikini or swimsuit with good support and no under wiring. I got mine from Huit. See the trip here. For 6 weeks you aren't allowed to swim or expose the incisions to sunlight. I was also advised to always sleep on my back during this time too.
When I got home I noticed I'd had a reaction to the sticky parts of the bandages, the skin was itchy, irritated and sore, in the end the marks took several months to fade.

After 9 or so days I was back to work, I was told in my handbag I couldn't carry no more than my purse, lipstick sort of thing. You don't want to be carrying anything heavy. My arm movement was quite restricted, I just did things slowly, I didn't reach behind me and didn't push myself to lift my arms up too high.

For showering, I had shallow baths and had help from my mum with a cloth to reach my back. She also helped me wash my hair. The following weeks I was able to do more for myself, slowly being able to wash my own hair. Luckily I only needed to wash my hair once a week anyway.

Boobs felt quite surreal like they would fall off if I lent forward and removed my bra. In the mornings you get what's called "morning boob" where they can feel quite stiff but this only lasts an hour or so.

2nd check up
This was at the 6 week point, I had my after photos taken, strips removed and advised to use rose hip oil on the scars. I could have baths and get them wet. I could start sleeping on my side and wear bras with wiring. I still slept (and still do now) in my macom bra as it's so comfortable.

I still had a lot of numbness, this was due to my skin stretching so much, there was nerve damage but it was slowly coming back. At this point I still felt they sat so high up, but was still thrilled with my decision.

Final check up
This is at the 3 month mark back with my surgeon. He was really impressed with his work which made me feel really good! He said all was fine, just not to lose any weight as this would effect their appearance.

At around 3.5 months post op my contraceptive pill I decided to come off after my surgery was finally out of my system and I had my period. During this time of course boobs change, just before I was due on they became firmer and felt a little different. Once I came on my period I was relieved and relaxed to know this is what caused the change. They then went back to normal, being softer again within a few days.

4 month post op
I started feeling so comfortable with them, I could go braless if I wanted. I did this more and got nipple covers so I could wear backless things and not have my nipples saying hi to the world. They moved a lot more, they were getting so much softer. I was gaining more feeling and the scars were fading a lot.

Now
It's been over 5 months now and I really love them. I love them much more now as they have changed so much. I'm sure I'll love them even more as time goes on and they get even softer etc. They have dropped a considerable amount compared to right after I got them done. I think they look reasonably natural as on Instagram I've had people asking when I'm going to go through with the procedure, upon telling them I already had, they just thought I was wearing a good bra! I'm so happy with the size, I'm glad I didn't go any bigger or smaller. I think I'm now around a 30D although I've not been measured yet.

I feel finally so comfortable in my body. It's weird, I thought it would be a confidence thing. But I just feel this is how my body should have been if that makes any sense. I often don't notice them, they are just a part of me and I feel good. I haven't noticed a change in any attention from people, I don't get them out often to be honest anyway.

Since having my operation done I've had two friends also go to Transform with the same surgeon and they are also so happy with their results. I've spoken to so many girls about my experience when they've reached out to me, since then a few have had theirs done and I'm so happy I've been there to reassure them. When you know you're going to get it done, you will regardless, but it helps so much to have someone to put your mind at rest and to help you realise everything is normal and okay.

My advice
- Do your research and find the right surgeon you feel comfortable with. Originally one of my friends went to see a different surgeon and he did not tell her as much as mine did. She didn't know what profile she was getting and felt a little rushed. She looked up his reviews and people seemed to get the same service from him. She looked up my surgeon's reviews and saw nothing bad. Upon having a consultation with him she was so happy and knew exactly what she was getting and was much more clued up on the whole procedure.

- It can be helpful to read blogs and watch videos of girls' who've been through it, BUT bare in mind things are different from person to person. It's good to prepare you on things like what to pack, bras to get etc, but different surgeons will practice in different ways and nurses may have different aftercare advice. It's best to listen to the professionals and have a consultation. A girl's implant size may be perfect for her, but not necessarily for you. Results will depend on several factors, what you start off with originally, your breast tissue, your skins thickness etc.

Surgery isn't for everyone, your bodies may change or you may come to love what you have. Everyone is different and that's okay :)

I hope this has been informative, if there's anything else you wish you know which I not have answered please leave it in the comments. If there's enough questions which I haven't answered in this post or my video then I will do a Q&A video. If there isn't enough I shall just reply to the comments :)

Check out my video:

Some before/after & progress pictures:
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New In


Mascara

My recent mascara of choice was the L'Oreal Paris False Lash Mascara Superstar which is a two step processes including a primer. This was the first L'Oreal Paris mascara I'd ever tried and it was my go to every morning until I recently ran out. I was up for trying another so was thrilled to get my hands on L'Oreal's brand spanking new, soon to be released False Lash sculpt before it hit the shelves. This also is a fibre enriched mascara like the one I previously tried, it helps lengthen your lashes but without the need of a primer first. Amazing to cut out an extra step right! It gives noticeable length AND volume in one coat, yes one coat, which is great as I'm not one for spidery looking lashes that some mascaras end up doing to me, so I really appreciate the added volume too. It really does thicken but not clump your lashes for a beautiful full looking fanned out lengthened look.

Often I don't like mascaras when I first get them, the formula can be too wet, but this was  great straight away, just take off the excess first and you're good to go. I've been using this everyday since I got it and have had people already question if I'm wearing any false lashes at all as they seem to look longer. A compliment I'm always going to take as I have such short lashes compared to my friends. Half Asian problems *sigh*.

The brush is very unusual but very effective. I found starting with the inside corner lashes and carefully brushing through them first, then slowly going through the rest making my way to the outer corner was the most effective. I loved how the brush curves out towards the bottom as it REALLY captures the outside corner lashes, an area I usually have to try and reach with the top of a mascara wand. It really gets right to the root and coats from roots to tip with ease. This is part of it's design, if you gently stamp along the base of your lashes along the roots with a gentle press it's said to tight line and create fuller looking lashes. Not something I normally do, so didn't try this out myself.

Often I find mascaras flake very badly on my lower lashes, but this stayed on perfectly all day, something I wasn't expecting at all to be honest. Looking to try this mascara? Not long to wait now, it comes out at the start of 2016 for £9.99.

Watch

I may have added another watch to my collection, I have two Daniel Wellington watches already, both of them from the Women's collections, but this time I wanted one from the Men's, I actually prefer the larger face. I went for their new Dapper design, distinctive with it's metallic blue hands and date on the face.

I've always loved Daniel Wellington for their minimalist design and super thin watch face. I especially like wearing watches to London, checking the time with ease without having to get my phone out. Someone tried to mug me in London before so I feel much safer this way!

Fancy getting yourself or a loved one a Daniel Wellington? Use my code "leannelimwalker" for 15% off until January 15th 2016

Ring

For my birthday I was given mostly money, I knew right away what I wanted to spend this on. A new Great Frog London ring! This Michael Rodent ring is also owned by lots of my friends, Yanin, Helen, Sammi, Jess and now myself. I love how chunky and grungy their pieces are. I cannot get enough of statement pieces so I'm sure my collection will grow past three items in no time!

Yep more jewellery!

I fell in love with Meadowlark back in January when I saw them on the explore page of Instagram. They stock pieces I'd never seen before, nesting rings like the one below so you could basically make your own ring. Most people never realised the ring I wore was made of three and I'd had my heart set on the five stack set so finally took the plunge to get the two arrow bands with diamonds. Such beautiful attention to detail, the middle ring is two snake heads biting onto the jewel. I recently saw they now have a band which fits with the outer starbursts. Maybe one day I'll have a seven stack..
Here are the other two rings I purchased, it seems I like spiky things huh! I also picked up some anchor earrings to replace my Vivienne Westwood ones as I lost one when taking off a roll neck jumper. True story.

Contour

So this isn't that new, but I've not really spoken about this palette from Collection before. Only £4.99 it has a contour, highlight and two blushes. For my photo I used the contour and highlight only, most days I usually use the bottom left blush. Such amazing results from such an affordable palette! Day to day I use the Anastasia contour palette but end up sticking this contour on top for more definition. A great purchase for anyone wanting to try contour and highlighting on a budget.

The highlight really impressed me, if you look at the picture at the bottom of this post you can really see it's beautiful glow. It's not trying to look "wet", just so angelic!

The only thing is the packaging doesn't stay looking so tidy for long, but then again the same can be said for the Anastasia contour palette too.

Matte Lipstick

I recently purchased more Jeffree Star Cosmetics velour liquid lips, I already own Unicorn Blood and Celebrity skin, both AMAZING might I add! I then bought Posh Space, Prom Night, Redrum and this, which is my favourite of the new ones, Masochist. I get asked frequently where I purchase Jeffree Star, from Cocktail cosmetics

So easy to apply, they don't dry instantly which is handy for the lighter shades especially when needing to correct any mistakes. I find for the edges of your lips, if you turn the wand upside down it gives a more precise edge. It lasts all day and if anything it's hard to get off your lips which is something you want for when eating and drinking so to not worry about how your lips look.

Loving matte finish, love the packaging, smells nice, feels fine and I next need androgyny! Very happy Jeffree has made that a permanent shade from the holiday collection. 

Blush

After falling in love with The Balm's MaryLouManiser I had to try more of their products! I never really mix up my blush so I thought I'd give one of their's a go. Beautiful colour, can be easily built up or kept subtle. I now apply blush following Goss makeup two finger technique.

So here's my face with the mascara, contour, highlight, blush and lip stick

Do you own anything from these brands? What items have you picked up lately that you love?

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Customise your own Ray-Ban | Ray-Ban REMIX

Ever found a pair of sunglasses and thought, I like these, but I wish this bit was different.. wishing the frame was silver instead of gold, wanting cool/different lenses. I'm sure we've all been there. Below is an example, I got these earlier in the year, I do love them, but they'd look way better with a silver frame to be honest.
This is where Ray-Ban's customise site comes in handy! First choose between different 15 styles of glasses, here I went for my favourite which is round. Have fun with lenses, there's the classics, gradient, polarised, mirrored and flash. I chose the copper flash. I wasn't that adventurous with the frames but there's any options for those too including matte finishes. You can even choose the colour of the temple tips, I had no idea they were actually called that! I went for clear and customised those with my initials. Such a cute idea, you can do both the inside and outside of each of the arms. Nice to add a cute little message and makes them more personalised. Don't wish to add something onto the glasses? Not to worry you can add a message onto the case. Up to two lines to text, I'm boring and went for my name. I liked also that you could change the colour of the case, usually they are brown, I liked the appearance of the black much more. These are the standard cases, there's also premium leather ones if you're feeling extra fancy.

These are such a great gift idea for someone you know, or even to make the perfect sunglasses for yourself <3 You need to protect your eyes all year round so they aren't that strange to get at christmas :)
You can see I'm becoming a little obsessed with bronze!
How would you customise your sunglasses? Take a peek of the options here.

 This post was kindly sponsored by Ray-Ban
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Lingerie

For me, lingerie is up there with one of my other favourite things, jewellery. I'm fussy and usually I tend to like something a little different, often a little fancy.

Until more recently I found it always so hard to get bras as they rarely would even fit me so instead I was always more about buying fancy knickers. Now (for those who do not know I have had a little surgical help) I can get beautiful matching sets and search for some amazing lingerie brands out there. I'm not saying people need surgery to also do this by the way, merely explaining my more recent accumulation of new underwear. I've found so many brands via Instagram that I ended up creating a Pinterest board dedicated to amazing lingerie, from more independent brands to large well known companies, see it here.

I've now have been spending an unhealthy amount of time looking at beautiful lingerie, I'm so very much in love with brands like For Love and Lemons and recently purchased this halterneck bra from Asos (pictured below) it was ridiculously expensive, and the size isn't quite how I imagined. I got an XS and it doesn't fit as tightly around the ribs as I'd hope, I'm a 30inch band. Now I know that there's a place in Norwich, Proudlock & Harry, who stock For Love and Lemons, I'm so happy to go in and try on and get an idea of sizing for different styles too.
So the nova bra (now £20 at Asos) featured below is by Bluebella, understandably when I posted that very image on Instagram a fair few comments mentioned there wasn't much to it. BUT guys it really looks so amazing on. It's just hard to photograph on myself..
This brings me onto the main topic I wanted to write about in this post. I really adore lingerie, but I often worry about posting pictures of myself in such things. Not because what my parents might think, I would never post something which I knew they'd think was too much in the first place. But for what my followers might think. I don't want people to think I'm being too much, a slut etc. Slut shaming happens far too much these days. The above For Love and Lemons image had a girl calling me a slut, yet I'm far more covered up than the women/models on the brands page.

You see, we look at lingerie and most likely it's modelled by a girl we've never met, so one of the first things we're looking at is the underwear she's wearing. But when it's someone you know, whether in real life or online, the first thing you'll do is recognised them, or instantly feel a tad weird you've seen them in such a way. I have also felt myself at times feeling this towards other people, but then realised, shook it off and told them how amazing they looked. If I didn't already know them, I'm sure would have thought that right away!

I feel comfortable in my body and I'd like to share amazing lingerie with others who might like to discover something pretty too. Sometimes it does just look better on, like the Ann Summers body below, doesn't give a good idea at all on a hanger. If I'm okay with sharing such pictures then there shouldn't be a problem as it's my body right?
Often on social media, Instagram lets say, most imagery featuring lingerie doesn't show the woman's face, just head down, or if it does often they are looking away. Do we feel uncomfortable to be caught looking, does it make us more comfortable to be a voyeur? I noticed in my pics I shot I often did this too. Truth was I probably wasn't wearing making so didn't want to show my face. Sometimes is this better as then there's no added emotion, possible seductive expressions which could add the wrong feeling to the image?

When I wore the nova bra I actually felt amazing in it, the perfect fit and it was something so different to what I've ever seen before. It looks so feminine, classy and literally is perfection to me. But yes it doesn't leave much to the imagination, but it does look so much better on. So when I took a picture of myself it in, I made sure I was mostly covered up. Pictures of other women wearing it on their page made it look so amazing and I could see people commenting to their friends how amazing it was on after seeing it on my Instagram.
Some other brands I love.




 

Calvin Klein TopKnickers
UO exclusive TopKnickers
Is it weird to see the person photographing themselves as you no longer hold the gaze as the person behind the camera? Is it less weird for it to seem if someone else has taken the picture?

Often it's thought "sexy underwear" is bought by women to impress men. But why, perhaps that's the case for some. But for me, single for 2 years, I buy it solely for myself. So ladies, why not buy underwear because you deserve to treat yourself to something which makes you feel amazing. It's your body and if it makes you feel empowered then what's stopping you!

I just wish I was better at words and could get my point across, women in lingerie doesn't have to be slutty, it can be beautiful, tasteful and classy. Lets not bring others down, celebrate them for feeling confident or comfortable in their bodies. Lets help bring each other up girls!

Also yes, underwear doesn't always need to be shown on like below :)
Topshop bra
I also know not everyone will have the same taste in lingerie as me, there really is something for everyone online. Check out the worlds largest lingerie blog, I also descovered feminist underwear, underwear to resist the male gaze.

Who are your favourite lingerie brands? I'd love to check them out!

So I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to host a giveaway!
Open worldwide. Enter using the widget below to win this Ines set in size small by Blue Bella! I don't mean to exclude with the size, I was sent this, but after trying on only the top and it not fitting I thought why not give it away. If this goes well thought I would love to approach Bluebella to do another giveaway. Check their sizing on there site here.

Winner will be picked at random and contacted within 2 days of end of the giveaway. If the winner doesn't respond within 5 days then a new winner will be chosen.
Bluebella Ines Set Giveaway
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